There’s no Singles’ Day discount, but here are some products worthy of singles
11.11.2022
Translation: Veronica Bielawski
If you were hoping to do some Singles’ Day bargain hunting here on 11 November – sorry to disappoint, I don’t have any discounts for you. But I do have a few intriguing single-worthy products instead.
Go ahead and let out your anger and rage in the comments below. If you need some inspiration to kickstart your typing, try: «Why even publish an article to begin with if there are no discounts?!» Alternatively: «What a load of bull! We demand better prices!1!!!11!!»
Has your blood started boiling ... but you can’t quite put your finger on why? I’m happy to jog your memory. It’s because you won’t find excessively cheap deals on TVs, projectors, graphics cards, or gaming chairs here. Why not? It’s simple: someone in China managing to start a consumer frenzy on account of Singles’ Day isn’t reason enough for us to wreck our already low margins. We prefer to save that for Black Friday, hint hint ...
Look, our colleagues in the marketing department insisted we publish something on the topic of Singles’ Day – just in case anyone storms our website hoping for bargains. Fair enough. As luck would have it, I yet again got the short end of the stick – as was the case on Valentine’s Day – meaning it was up to me to get typing. So here’s a small selection of carefully curated products just for you. In celebration of Singles’ Day, it’s my honour to present to you 5,000 products that pop up when you search for «single» on digitec.ch.
1. Bye-bye, cable clutter
Ever thought your cable clutter might be the cause of your unwitting singletude? If so, I’m just letting you know that someone here has left the cable channel by Steffen a five-star rating. Cover your cables, and perhaps you’ll find someone who’ll get nice and comfortable in your home . . .
2. Sound over silence
Nord’s single pedal allows you to get maximum music out of your keyboard. With its help, you can – literally – put on the act that you are, in fact, not alone. And make sure the entire neighbourhood knows it.
3. The next big lonesome lyricist
Not into purely instrumental tunes? Want to put your voice to work? Then this karaoke machine might be just the thing for you! But don’t ask me why a device with two microphones has «single» in its name – I’ve no clue. My guess is that the manufacturer’s strength lies more so in making a decent product and less so in copywriting. This quote from the product description certainly supports my theory: «It is the perfect gift when a child is playing. As it has different modes, very fun and prepared for all audiences: Boys, girls and adults. FM radio, karaoke, MP3 playback and LINE IN modes as well as USB / SD player.» That sure doesn’t sound like a product designed solely for solo singing.
4. Laptop lock
I resent finding this product. Although I briefly researched what in the world is up with these lock systems, I still frankly don’t get it. And I’ve given up trying to. Why should I? But if you’re interested in a detailed review of the various anti-notebook-theft systems out there, please drop us a comment. I’d be more than happy to pass on that mission to one of my colleagues in the editorial team.
5. Have Microsoft all to yourself
One computer, one user – that seems to be the principle of this Office 365 licence from Microsoft. Perfect for singletons. But if you look at the fine print, you’ll be happy to learn that you can, in fact, use this licence on a tablet in addition to the one Mac or PC. How generous of you, Microsoft!
6. Single or double floof?
Aw, aren’t these fluffy little thangs adorable? This collar mic pop shield comes in several colours. The fir green one ended up winning me over. Unfortunately, I don’t know if these plumed companions should be kept alone or in pairs. Should anyone know the answer – and it turn out to be «in pairs» – you’ll find those in our shop, too, prepackaged for your convenience.
7. A criminally good LED?
Small and bright is probably the best way to describe this LED, which is just one of over four million products in Digitec and Galaxus’ range. Now, what really fascinated be about this one in the manufacturer’s name – it sounds like something straight out of a crime drama. Just picture the secretary of some entangled law firm picking up the phone: «This is Scharnberger and Hasenbein, how may I help you?» Not to mention that it seems like quite a few people are involved in the making of this «single» product.
You’ll find discounts in the sale section
Find my selection of products boring? Is all this single stuff not your cup of tea? You’re just after a good discount? Alright, alright. You may find just what you’re looking for in our sale section or among our promotions. Though I can’t promise you that there won’t be a few «single» products in there, too.
Martin Jungfer
Head of Content
Martin.Jungfer@digitecgalaxus.chJournalist since 1997. Stopovers in Franconia (or the Franken region), Lake Constance, Obwalden, Nidwalden and Zurich. Father since 2014. Expert in editorial organisation and motivation. Focus on sustainability, home office tools, beautiful things for the home, creative toys and sports equipment.
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