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7 smartphones that prove: manufacturers are nerds
by Dominik Bärlocher
Can the Barbie Phone force me into digital detox?
5.11.2024
Translation: Katherine Martin
HMD’s new Barbie Phone is brightly coloured and attention-grabbing. It has none of today’s apps; instead it’s kitted out with the iconic game Snake and a push-button keyboard. The question is: can I get through day-to-day life with it?
It’s pink, it’s glittery and it snaps open and shut. Yep, HMD’s latest flip phone has thrust the world of Barbie right into the palm of my hand. When you switch the phone on, you’re greeted with a cheery «Hey Barbie!». You certainly couldn’t call it a «smart» phone, but it’s very Barbie-like. It sports colourful charms and covers, pink icons and a Barbie version of the game Snake.
Since HMD’s included a whole bunch of accessories with the phone, unboxing it is seriously fun. There’s a brightly coloured chain with a variety of charms, interchangeable backs and stickers. In an age where every smartphone looks the same, this is a refreshing change.
Gearing up for Barbie: bye-bye, contacts!
In order to be able to get by for two weeks without the internet in my pocket, I’ll have to nip a few potential obstacles in the bud first. It finally makes sense to start carrying a wallet around again, whether it’s for my bank card or SBB rail card.
Seeing as I can’t use apps such as Telegram, Signal or WhatsApp to communicate, I warn my contacts that they’ll only be able to reach me via SMS or a phone call during the day.
Building my contacts list is a real drag. Just like in the good old days, you can’t save your numbers onto a SIM card. With postal addresses, e-mail addresses, birthdays and what have you, today’s contacts lists are far too complex for that. So I transfer the most important details over to the Barbie phone manually. It should just be a matter of hours before I’m done…
The joys and sorrows of the 2000s: SMS and keyboard
For me, the fundamental need a mobile phone has to fulfil is sending messages. After letting my friends know that I can only communicate via text right now, I get my first message on my Barbie phone.
But the initial fun quickly fades. The keyboard isn’t particularly pleasant to type on, and it’s obviously much slower to use than a touchscreen keyboard. That’s partly down to the arrangement of the letters. Even as a teenager, I knew that having a mobile phone with a computer-style keyboard would be much more efficient than tapping the same key three times to get the letter «C». For that very reason, my last feature phone had a computer keyboard.
The display isn’t as nicely organised as my large smartphone screen either. On the plus side, it forces me to focus on the bare essentials. If I want to chat about something more complex, I usually call people. Thankfully, I have talkative pals who’re more than happy to receive my calls.
One feature of the phone that really hasn’t aged well is MMS. Given that the service was shut down in Switzerland a long time ago, I’m unable to send any photos. There’s no alternative way of doing so on the Barbie Phone.
Refreshingly unimportant: the camera
The camera takes absolutely horrible pictures. And the kitschy Barbie frame you can set to appear in the photos isn’t the only thing responsible for this. It’s also a result of the camera’s 0.3 megapixels and 240 × 320 pixel resolution.
When I review smartphones, I usually have to scrutinise camera performance really carefully. So looking at the Barbie Phone’s poor image quality, I can’t help smiling. It’s nice to see how far we’ve come since flip phones were first invented. Here are some of the photos I took with the HMD:
The reflective sleeve over the front of the device is constantly dirty, and since it slightly distorts my face, it’s not very good. However, it fulfils its purpose of getting me in the frame for a selfie.
Seeing as I can’t send photos anyway, the camera’s pretty pointless. If I’m going out and know I’ll want to take a few snaps, I take my smartphone and make a conscious effort to photograph what’s important to me. Just like we used to do with digital cameras.
The calendar: not essential
A lot of people use their smartphone calendar for everything. They often like it when it synchs with the calendar on their PC. Personally, I use a paper diary, so my Barbie Phone calendar stays empty. It’d be fine for the bare essentials, including adding appointments, notes, location and reminders. What you can’t do is synch it with your computer.
Light entertainment: Snake and MP3 tunes instead of online scrolling
The feature phone actually offers some entertainment. Not only does it come with Nokia’s cult classic Snake, but there’s also a colourful Barbie version involving a pink snake on a beach. Instead of scrolling through social media, I really do enjoy hitting new high scores on Snake every so often.
I’m confronted with other inconveniences from the pre-smartphone era too. My songs are muddled up in an endless list, sometimes only labelled with something like «Track 01». Plus, the volume goes up and down between songs. Basically, I really miss Tidal.
The Opera browser on the device is unusable. It displays every website in a confusing way, with images and text overlapping so much that they’re unreadable. Content’s also displayed far too small.
Seemingly endless battery life
These days, charging your phone less than once a day is a rarity. With the Barbie Phone, however, it’s a different story. The few features available on the device barely draw any power, so I can get by for a whole week without charging. When I eventually run out of juice, I recharge it via USB-C. This usually takes about 90 minutes.
But hang on, the best part’s yet to come. It’s not that the battery’s pink (even though that’s a hell of a bonus). Instead, it’s the fact that the battery’s not glued to phone. As a result, it’s not a problem to replace. Just bear in mind that since the Barbie Phone’s wonderfully easy to take apart, it’s not waterproof.
My everyday life’s entwined with my smartphone
Eating out is getting increasingly difficult without a smartphone. In restaurants with QR codes instead of a physical menu, my Barbie Phone’s unable to cope, and I’ve no choice but to look at my friend’s phone.
You also need a smartphone for tickets and reservations, with many situations requiring QR codes, including concerts and cinema trips. If I can’t get a physical ticket, I try to print it out. But that doesn’t always go well. On one trip to the cinema, I don’t realise until I get there that the ticket has a seat number but no screen number.
Verdict: if it’s not a smartphone, I’m out
That’s not to say that my pink test device is pointless. However, I do think the Barbie Phone’s unsuitable for adults. Especially since you can’t scan or display QR codes with it. It’d certainly be handier if it had WhatsApp. And the keyboard could use some improvement too.
I think the Barbie Phone would be fine for kids. It’d give them the opportunity to reach their parents in an emergency, and the design would appeal to children. At the same time, parents wouldn’t need to worry about their little ones watching inappropriate videos on YouTube or getting hooked on Instagram. The phone’s Opera web browser just isn’t designed for that.
Want a similar phone for half the price without all the Barbie paraphernalia? Go for the Nokia 2660 Flip. It’s roughly the same model, and is available in black as well as pink.
Header image: Michelle Brändle
In my world, Super Mario chases Stormtroopers with a unicorn and Harley Quinn mixes cocktails for Eddie and Peter at the beach bar. Wherever I can live out my creativity, my fingers tingle. Or maybe it's because nothing flows through my veins but chocolate, glitter and coffee.
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