News + Trends
The mysterious Utah monolith: beings from another world?
by Luca Fontana
A mysterious monolith, now in Switzerland: what will the Federal Council do?
10.12.2020
Translation: Patrik Stainbrook
Another monolith has been sighted in Switzerland. And just as with other finds, the slender shape disappeared hours after its discovery. Still, the government has remained silent throughout this serious situation.
The monolith has reappeared. In Switzerland. Even worse: in the canton of Aargau. Next to a witch's castle near Grenchen, as the online edition of Blick reports. Samuel Widmer, the castle keeper who first discovered the alien artefact, confirmed to Blick that «no footprints were visible, although it snowed during the night».
There's only one possible explanation: the monolith was beamed to its location.
On November 23, when sheep counters for the Utah Department of Public Safety discovered a monolith in the nearby mountainous deserts, many still thought of it as a harmless prank. Only us editors here at digitec/Galaxus recognised the seriousness of the situation, immediately reporting on the mysterious events which undoubtedly prove the existence of extra-terrestrial intelligence.
Days later: while the Utah monolith disappears without a trace, it appears again on November 27 next to an old Dacian fortress in Romania – before disappearing again shortly thereafter, just as anonymously as the first monolith. Government agencies from either country deny any connection.
Now the foreign fragment has resurfaced. In our immediate vicinity. Time for the Federal Council to act. Why not call in the Secret Service?
This isn't just a Swiss issue
The appearance of a monolith at the Witch's Castle is a historical event that will doubtlessly fascinate the nation for generations. Especially since the mystery monolith can move from one location to the next with seemingly no effort: on December 2, i.e. before its appearance in Switzerland, the monolith of uncertain origin was sighted on Pine Mountain, California. Before quickly vanishing again. What governments don't want to admit: it must have been extra-terrestrials.
Deputy Mayor Terrie Banish commented, «The Monolith disappeared this morning. We did not remove it. There was rebar found in the ground, so we are planning to remove that as it’s a safety hazard.»
He went on to say, «At this time, the City does not have any plans to investigate this further.»
Is the US government trying to cover something up?
Anyway, now the monolith is in Switzerland. We don't know why aliens chose the canton of Aargau as the ideal site for their intergalactic metal construction. The comparatively mild Corona protection measures undoubtedly simplified the parking process.
Still, nothing has been confirmed.
At least we know its dimensions
Still, the discovery wasn't fruitless. All thanks to Swiss precision. Previously, the height of the monolith was only vaguely known. Something like «between ten and twelve feet». This required complicated conversions via Google. That's why castle keep Samuel Widmer wanted to take a closer look.
Widmer's valuable field research shows: the alien find is 2.70 metres tall. But Widmer goes on. To Blick, he also claimed to be 1.76 metres tall himself.
The Federal Council has remained silent.
Peter Stirnemann, mayor of the municipality of Gränichen, has taken a stance on this issue at the political level: «This is of course good for us in terms of advertising. I'm glad it's with us.»
Stirnemann further stated that the community would have liked to leave the monolith there for the time being. However, as expected, the monolith is no longer there. It's obvious that the fate of the mystery monolith cannot be controlled or influenced by earthly desires.
«We have no idea who did this. Due to all the media attention, there's just too many tracks», Samuel Widmer told Aargauer Zeitung, who together with about 50 other pilgrims travelled to Liebegg Castle to marvel at the alien myth.
The situation across the nation remains tense. But there's no evidence of hostile intentions. Or a find in Greenland.
We'll stay on it.
Thanks to user NeXus-9 for the note regarding the Blick article.
Luca Fontana
Senior Editor
Luca.Fontana@digitecgalaxus.chI'm an outdoorsy guy and enjoy sports that push me to the limit – now that’s what I call comfort zone! But I'm also about curling up in an armchair with books about ugly intrigue and sinister kingkillers. Being an avid cinema-goer, I’ve been known to rave about film scores for hours on end. I’ve always wanted to say: «I am Groot.»
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