Product test

The bitch tested: What can the Canon Pixma iP7250 do?

Dominik Bärlocher
15.1.2018
Translation: machine translated

User Dintenrolf has labelled a printer a "bitch". His review has ended up in digitec's new advertising campaign, where a woman reads out his review. But is the Canon Pixma iP7250 really that shitty? The test by an avowed printer hater provides answers. And frustration.

I hate printers.

In short: I hate printers.

"Why don't you test the bitch?" says editor-in-chief Aurel Stevens at the video department's planning meeting, after producer Stephanie Tresch drops that she still has capacity for filming this week.

I hate printers. But the boss has spoken. You know how it is, when the boss speaks, the boss has spoken.

"Hmmm," I say, "I think synergies could be better utilised in the context of common working."

Except that I don't say that because we don't have one of those dreadful business-speak cultures.

"No," I say in reality, "I hate printers."

In the studio

While Stephanie sets up the cameras, I question my existence. Just not too conspicuous, because Aurel is keeping a watchful eye on me in the studio. After all, I may have threatened to test the Canon Pixma iP7250 with a baseball bat.

The concussive test is to save me the employees of the printer

Because I promised Aurel that I wouldn't destroy the printer, I want to give it a bit of a hard time. Because the Canon Pixma iP7250, which user Dintenrolf calls a bitch, comes with many promises from the manufacturer.

  • Print in black and white
  • Automatic duplex printing

Sometimes I also reduce the amount of ink the printer needs. However, depending on the printer, this is a bit risky. I only do this after a few tests, but I can usually save between 20 and 30 per cent of the amount of ink. It takes a bit of experimentation shortly after purchase, but it's worth it in the medium to long term. Because even if the printer is cheap - and the Pixma iP7250 in the bitch version is cheap - the cartridges can be expensive.

For the test, however, I orientate myself on Dintenrolf's review. The thing is an ink guzzler. I therefore leave the settings as they are from the factory. The document consists of pictures from the office and a page number. The document is 259 pages long in total. I actually wanted to generate 256 pages from 4 pages of content, but somewhere along the line it added three more pages.

The printing begins

I open the test document, half of which consists of full-page images and half of text, and press CTRL+P, then Enter. Here we go.

Or not.

The first page is printed quite quickly. Then a long pause. The Canon iP7250 in the bitch version rattles away for minutes. I'm already worried that we have a paper jam or some other printer nonsense that has been plaguing mankind for decades.

But then the chattering changes and printing actually begins. Page after page of printed paper is spewed out by the bitch.

So far everything has gone well

Am I wrong? Could it be that the printer is okay after all?

The filming is complete in my head until the printing is over. I remain silent to the camera, not quite sure what to say. Should I say something? Stephanie definitely makes hand movements like "Say something". All right, I'll just say it. Anything.

After about ten minutes of hand gestures and my inner question of whether it's finally time to cut or something, I've had enough.

"The two behind the camera are having such a great time and I'm sitting here bored because I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes and the printer is just printing," I blurt out.

The glorious life of an editor.

But the printer keeps on chattering. No error, no paper jam, the ink cartridge hasn't exploded and I set about tidying up the mess caused by setting up the printer. I have to pass the time somehow.

Paper. Paper everywhere

The paper input tray is larger than the paper output tray. That's why the paper spreads out nicely in the room

At some point, after a plush horn is thrown at my head, followed by malicious laughter from an unnamed video producer, the sound of the printer changes. The contented rattle becomes a higher-pitched rattle with clicking noises. My laptop informs me that the printer is seeking my attention. The thing must not be getting enough love.

I give the thing some love. With my baseball bat!

But it's only the paper tray. It's empty. So, fill it up and the boredom continues. Paper flies onto the floor, I'm now questioning the existence of the universe and time passes slowly. Very slowly. Every now and then I say something to the camera again, hoping that Stephanie will cut out the biggest nonsense and produce something decent and entertaining, but somehow I had imagined the shoot to be different.

The catastrophe after 180 pages

After about 100 pages of print, Stephanie is also bored. She dances behind the camera, has music playing and warns me that if I have a flash of inspiration, I shouldn't just blurt it out, but give her a heads-up. Then she can switch off the licence-protected music.

"How much longer will this nonsense go on here?" asks Stephanie.

She has work to do, she adds. Not only does she have to edit videos, but she's also writing a text that she wants to finish sometime this week.

"The way things are going, we're not going to finish printing this week," she grumbles.

After almost 90 minutes, I've had enough. I'm leaving. I have to go and I have more than enough work to do. The printer still has about 80 pages to go and the paper tray is well filled. There's still room on the floor, so it doesn't need me anymore.

"Hey, you can't run off without a conclusion now," Stephanie calls after me.

I suspect she doesn't want to clear up the mess on her own. Fine, I'll just sit down again and talk about the printer.

My conclusion should only be about 30 seconds long. We have enough footage. We could produce a full-length feature film with me staring at a printer and being briefly replaced by Stephanie in places.

Suddenly, however, the printer spits out a white page that should actually be page 78. Shortly before, it had produced a page of text with M-coloured splashes. M is one of the CMYK colours that a printer uses to produce every colour that ends up on a piece of paper.

  • C: Cyan - blue
  • M: Magenta - red
  • Y: Yellow - yellow
  • K: Key - black

After the M pig order on the text side, the printer then cleaned itself. Didn't take quite as long as at the beginning, but long enough to worry me. The white page doesn't make it any better.

After 93 minutes, disaster: page 259 comes out of the printer.

What is this?

Really now? No, no, no! We've been sitting here for an hour and a half waiting for the Canon Pixma iP7250 to spit out 259 pages. And just before the end, the thing thinks to itself "Hah, fuck you! I'll start again!"

Bitch!

Fuck this shit!

We cancel the shoot. The timer switches off at 1 hour, 33 minutes and 59 seconds. We've definitely seen it. That's it. Off.

Exactly what you can expect for the money

In the almost 94 minutes I've been watching the Canon Pixma iP7250, I've been thinking to myself. Is this beast a bitch? Yes, no, yes, but also not.

But: I have to put a stop to my hatred. Installation was super easy thanks to USB, no paper jams and I only had a little ink on my fingers. If I hadn't had the idea of wanting to print 259 pages, I could have easily left the printer to rattle on its own.

Passable device, that bitch.

Update 16/01/2018

In the comments column, user Imageprocessor has linked the following video, which I don't want to withhold from you.

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Journalist. Author. Hacker. A storyteller searching for boundaries, secrets and taboos – putting the world to paper. Not because I can but because I can’t not.


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